Don’t fear the Twitter ban

We hear quite often from some of the elder shitlords in the big tent that skating the edge of the terms of service on Twitter and other social media sites shields us from the banhammer. They caution us against tagging SJWs and interacting with them directly. Instead, our founding führers prefer screen captures for showcasing their pokes at these intellectually caged and stunted champions of perceived social ills.

United Shitlords understand their reasoning for such advice. Many brands and some forms of income depend in part on shrewd marketing via online networks. Losing a significant percentage of revenue hinders their efforts at large, and we begrudge no one who wishes to earn a living as a full-time mischief maker.

Nevertheless, we disagree with stated blanket recommendation for the majority. While it serves well those with vested interest in these platforms, Scheißeherrjugend like us and others trolling without monetary benefit feel more at home using the “Go hard or go home,” standard chopperating procedure. Consider the following:

  • If the administrators want to shutter your account, enjoy your ban. You can change that very little. Twitter employ people like Randi Lee Harper, Anita Sarkeesian, and others possessing a thin grasp on reality and logical thought;
  • Ethan Ralph, of The Ralph Retort, saw his partner, Nora, banned for thoughtcrime by association. She hardly deserved said treatment;
  • Operating under a shadow of the possibility of banishment owes its roots to fear, the opposite of love. Since you enjoy the torrential tormenting so, why worry of its cessation? We shitlords draw our power from the infinite æther, which nobody finds in short supply;
  • Holding back constricts the Overton window. Over the last year, this acceptable range of discourse got gapped wider than a sorority girl’s box during rush week. Why attempt to brake the train? We see no need;
Plastic toy weilding a quite large warhammer.
Banhammer – Created by Gobi on Flickr. Used under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0) license.

As a function of time, bank on your avatar getting silenced. With the regressive left comprising at least 10% of the population at large and alarmingly higher numbers within Silicon Valley IT companies, the statistics hedge in their favour. Only the foolish believe otherwise.

With enterprising, entertaining minds and strong wills at hand, how can trollitos ensure the continuity of operations in an electronic world stacked against them? Ever prepared to lend a helping ham shank, United Shitlords compiled a clickbait-free list of options ready for deployment in case of emergency. Add the following to your toolbox to weather the coming storm:

  1. Cry. No, you pussy;
  2. Create a backup sleeper account or two. Let others know it belongs to you;
  3. Move to another social network;
  4. Start your own website;
  5. Ask your followers to join a mailing list which sends updates every time you publish a new article;

We intend for this post to clear up a bit of the black-pilled storm clouds looming over the horizon. While large companies like Google and Microsoft join the European Union in censoring what they define as “hate speech”, bet on several of our ballbreaking brethren falling on the front line in the most important culture war of our lifetimes. Although we progress steadily, the battle continues against a stream of poz reluctant to relent. Sharpen your blades and stockpile more rounds.


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